A Montessori preschool is more than just learning academic skills like recognizing the letters of the alphabet or familiarizing oneself with numbers and counting. At the heart is an understanding that young children are developing as a whole: learning how to make choices, connect with others, and get to know their personal feelings. 

Research highlighted by ZERO TO THREE shows that babies and toddlers experience emotions such as joy, fear, anger, and sadness even in the earliest stages of development. Learning to recognize and manage these feelings is an important part of their learning journey that can impact later relationships and well-being.

The Montessori Way

The Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL) describes social and emotional competencies such as self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship skills as foundations that support children's broader learning and development. 

A child who can gradually manage frustration has more opportunities to persevere and complete a challenging puzzle. A child who can communicate a need is better able to participate in a group. A child who begins to recognize another person's feelings is developing the foundations for cooperation.

These are not distractions from learning. They are part of learning.

House on the Hill puts emphasis on observation, guiding the child not only in their academic endeavours, but in building their emotional foundation as well. This observation-led approach can sit naturally within a Montessori environment, where children are supported as individuals and given opportunities to learn from both adults and their peers.

Here are some approaches that prove useful in managing children’s feelings. 

Make it safe for your child to express their thoughts and emotions

The Health Promotion Board (HPB) recommends helping toddlers develop emotional understanding by asking about their feelings and putting them into words. When children feel overwhelmed, they benefit from having their emotions acknowledged rather than dismissed.

Some examples of these could be:

“You looked so excited to go on that ride!”

“Are you disappointed that we couldn’t make it to the park today?”

“It seems like you’re frustrated about not completing that puzzle, huh?”

Transitioning From Co-Regulation to Self-Regulation

The National Health Service (NHS) describes this process through three stages: first helping the child regulate, then relating to them with reassurance and connection, and finally reasoning with them once they are calm enough to take in information. 

The National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC) similarly highlights the importance of social and emotional development alongside academic development, with classroom routines, relationships, and everyday experiences providing opportunities to nurture these skills.

Developing Emotional Skills At Home

Everyday moments and activities can help support emotional development even from home.

When your child is upset, try to:

• Notice. What happened just before the emotion appeared?

• Name. Give the feeling a simple word.

• Connect. Let your child know you are there.

• Guide. Once they are calm, help them think about what they could do next.

Families can also talk about emotions while reading stories, watching people at the park, playing pretend games, or talking about something that happened during the day. Over time, these conversations build an emotional vocabulary that children can draw on when feelings become difficult.

Raising Children Who Can Understand Themselves

In their formative years, our goal is to help children gradually understand that feelings are part of being human, and that feelings can be expressed, understood, and managed safely. As toddlers begin to understand their own personalities and others’ perspectives, gentle guidance is crucial in building emotional confidence that reaches far beyond the preschool years.

That’s why, as parents, an important part of the preschool search is to look beyond classrooms, materials, and academic outcomes. Ask how teachers observe children, how they respond to conflict, how independence is supported, and how children are guided through big feelings. In a thoughtfully prepared Montessori environment, educators adjust the way they introduce activities, support peer interactions, offer choices, and help children navigate challenging moments.

Curious about the Montessori way? Book a campus tour today!