Matilda was getting ready to go home, and excitedly reached out to her shoes from the cubby hole. Placing the shoes gently on the floor, she sat down to get ready to put on her shoes. Ms. Honey watched and observed to see if Matilda needed any help. (One of the key tools of a Montessori teacher is to have keen observation of each child as a unique individual and only step in to help if the child needs it.) Ms. Honey saw Matilda had placed her left foot in the ‘wrong side’ shoe. Ms. Honey held back her attempt to help her to switch sides, as she saw how Matilda was following the steps she had been shown before about how to put on her shoes well. The steps were: –   Lifting up the tongue of the shoe –   Slip one foot in –   Thumb on heel of shoe –   Push –   She even successfully strapped down her shoe This was done by Matilda with intense concentration. Matilda went on to put on the other side of her shoe, right foot in the left side of the shoe, with the same focus and detail to ensure that she was following through all the steps. There was a moment of immense pride as Matilda finally strapped down the last strap of the shoe. She stood up, and with a great big smile, she looked down at her feet with shoes that she had successfully put on all by herself! Ms. Honey was equally proud of the attempt of Matilda . She held onto Matilda ’s hands and walked her to the door where Matilda ’s mum was waiting for her. Ms. Honey saw the frown and look of disapproval on Matilda’s mum’s face when her eyes saw Matilda ’s shoes and looked up at Ms. Honey. Ms. Honey quickly gave a quick nod to her and smiled widely, saying “Matilda ’s mum, look at how Matilda put on the shoes all by herself! It was done with such detail and she even managed to strap down both sides of the shoes.” Matilda ’s mum responded with a smile! Through trust and connection between child, family, and school, we have created a safe and supportive environment where children can thrive independently. *Please note that names have been changed for privacy At House on the Hill, our teachers are specially trained to observe each child’s attempts at different tasks. As Dr Maria Montessori said, “Help me to do it by myself”. In that spirit, we offer our support to children at the appropriate moment in order to not cause a hindrance to their development. It is through struggles and challenges that children learn to overcome difficulties and learn through the process. We provide encouragement to the children and break down the tasks for them into small achievable steps. We respect the child’s autonomy and allow them to learn from their mistakes. In our school, we place more importance on the learning process and the journey of discovery, instead of focusing on the outcome. This allows them to complete the task on their own, and experience the joy of success! Instead of “correcting” the child’s mistakes, we offer guidance and not correction. Teachers will describe what they see, and ask open-ended questions for the child to think and problem-solve. For example, “I can see your toes look very squashed on this end of the shoes. Why do you think this is so? Shall we try to make them more comfortable?” This helps to redirect them, allowing them to figure out how to correct the steps and empowering them to be more self-reliant, promoting self-confidence. This approach of self-directed learning allows the children to become more engaged in a task, to develop deeper concentration for longer periods of time, with a love and respect for their own learning and work. As teachers curate each child’s individual development plan according to their learning pace, we ensure each child learns life-long skills and values,  helping them to grow into confident young people for the future.

It is very common for toddler-aged children around 1.5 years old to about 3 years old to display ‘aggressive’ behaviours such as biting, hitting, pushing, scratching, or pinching. Children of this age often lack appropriate verbal skills and resort to signs of this sort of behaviour to achieve their goals. This is often due to their developmental phase, as the pre-frontal cortex part of the brain that controls emotional regulation, reasoning, aggression, and self-control has not developed yet. This is why children in this age group sometimes are not able to control their urges or express their feelings in a positive manner. 4 Beautiful Locations Islandwide At House on the Hill, we strive to embody the true Montessori method and philosophy in every lesson and activity. Book A Tour Sometimes, children just need to have oral-sensory stimulation or exploration, it is part of their physical development. They could also be exploring cause and effect, seeking attention or perhaps they are just curious! During this period, when your child interacts with other children in school, they are also beginning to learn social skills usually not experienced at home or in smaller social settings with other family members. These are precious childhood experiences and opportunities for children to grow up. Through these interactions, they gradually start to understand how to protect themselves, learn how to face setbacks, and develop resilience to face life bravely. In this blog post, we would like to share with you the House on the Hill approach when faced with common challenging behaviours amongst children in school. We will also share some useful tips as to how to respond and  help guide your child through this developmental phase. What to do? Our Response to a Biting Incident in School · Prevention Our first goal is to try to prevent an incident from happening, or recurring. Our teachers are trained to observe, and will try to identify a situation where a child may be triggered to bite or exhibit any other anti-social behaviours. In the moment, teachers will need to provide attention to both children and help them talk about the situation. These are important teachable moments for the children. For example, if the biting was about to occur because of a frustrating situation, our teachers will help the child to vocalise his needs. They will provide the simple phrase for the child, “Please”, or “May I? as an alternative to snatching or grabbing a toy from their friend. Here is a re-enactment of such a scene, where the teacher will describe the situation to both children: “Oh Damien, I can see that you really want to have this zebra now. But Mary is playing with it right now. Why don’t you ask Mary, “May I have this zebra?” The teacher will then turn to Mary as the next focus, and to also show respect for her time with the toy. She will be provided with a time reference of when she can pass the dinosaur to Damien. “Mary, you are using the zebra as part of your zoo. Can you please let Damien have the zebra when you are done with it?” If the biting incident has already occured We don’t want to give too much negative attention to the biter, so the teacher will be brief, calm and firm. The main action will be to show a look of disapproval with a stern face and simple phrase, “That hurts.” The biter will be immediately removed from the play, and talked to sternly. “I can see that you really wanted that zebra, but I cannot let you hurt Mary. Teeth are not for hurting.” We know that shaming or harsh punishments will not reduce such incidences, rather, they are more likely to increase a child’s fear and worry, and potentially increase such incidences instead. These responses also do not teach the child the social skills they need to cope with these sorts of situations. For the child who was bitten, care and immediate comfort must be provided to soothe them first. Appropriate first aid will also be rendered if necessary. Sometimes, if suitable, showing the biter how their friend has been hurt can also help to reinforce the consequences of their action. The child may be invited to help to soothe the pain, perhaps by helping to apply a cold compression on the area. We will immediately log the incident and inform the parents of both children. We will also share with parents our observations of the child’s trigger reasons for the behaviour, and the action plan to prevent and minimise such behaviour in the future. While informing both families of the incident, the school will maintain complete confidentiality of all children involved. Image: Antonio Diaz via Getty Images How should parents react? What can you do to support these learning lessons?  We would like parents to reinforce these lessons after school, at home. It can be disheartening to learn about your child’s upsetting behaviour, or to hear about your child being hurt in school. But we want you to know that such behaviour is very common and can be addressed. The swifter action is taken, the better. The role that parents and caregivers play at home is hugely influential. Parents should take this as an opportunity to work alongside with the teachers in school, to understand the best approach to react to such situations in a calm and collective manner. When encouraging your child to talk about the experiences in school, please do not reinforce the experience negatively. Avoid using negative questioning to approach your child. For parents of the child who was bitten, instead of asking questions like “Did your friend bite/hurt you today?”, rephrase to, “I see you have a band-aid today over your arm. This must have hurt a lot.” Your child may then begin to share with you their experience. Otherwise, you may also want to use what their teacher has shared with you, to reinforce the response to the trigger behaviour.

Establishing boundaries for young children at home is an important part of parenting. When children understand and respect the boundaries set, it can help them develop confidence and self-discipline, as well as a sense of security. As parents, it’s important to take the time to identify clear boundaries and expectations for our children. Consider This First, consider your child’s age and maturity level. Young children may require more guidance and structure to understand what is expected of them. Establishing rules that are appropriate for their age will help them feel secure and understand their responsibilities. Second, make sure the boundaries are reasonable and consistent. Children respond best when their parents provide consistent rules and expectations, so it’s important to stick to the boundaries you have set. Third, provide consequences for when the boundaries are broken. Having a consistent consequence for when a boundary is not respected helps reinforce why it is important to follow the rules. Fourth, communicate the boundaries and expectations you have set. Make sure to explain why the boundary or expectation is important, and make sure your child understands it. Finally, remember to be flexible. Children are still growing and developing, and as they get older, their boundaries may need to be adjusted. Showing flexibility and understanding when it comes to setting boundaries helps children feel secure and respected. Some Guidelines Positive language Try telling your child what to do, instead of what not to do. You could say “let’s use our walking feet” instead of “don’t run!”. If the child is speaking in a loud voice, try encouraging them to use their “inside voice” and then they can use their “outside” voice when they are outdoors. Give easy to understand instructions Be very clear with communications. Isn’t “It’s time to put on your shoes now” much clearer than “should we put our shoes on now?”  Choice It is important not to conflate the notion of freedom of choice with being able to do anything that the child wants. In Montessori, freedom of choice really means the freedom to do the right thing.  Consider what choices you can give them that will still lead them to the desired effect, but allow them to feel as though they have control over the situation.  For example, if you need to go out, you may need to get your child into their car seat. You can’t give the choice of not being strapped in, but you can still give them choices. Ask if they want to take a book, or listen to an audio story in the car. They are still making choices, but they will also feel as though they are still in control of their decisions.  Understand and acknowledge their feelings If the child is behaving in a way you don’t want them to, clearly explain what you want them to do instead. Acknowledge their feelings. For example, say “I know you are upset ”, when your child can’t have what they want right then. Show that you understand your child’s feelings and then move on to suggest some coping strategies. Do try to encourage consistency within the family. It’s no good saying they can have only water with lunch, but other family members then give the child juice! Use visual cues Children respond to visual cues as much as verbal ones. We don’t have to shout, but do have a serious face and firm tone. This is to prevent sending out mixed messages to the child. Do always get down to the child’s level when doing so. Establishing boundaries for young children can be challenging, but it is an important part of helping them grow into successful and responsible adults. By taking the time to identify the boundaries and expectations that are appropriate for your child, you can help them develop self-discipline, security, and a sense of responsibility.    

Six Essential Skills for Children’s Positive Development by Nurul Fitton Montessori does not always mean specific materials found in our classrooms. Much of it comes down to a central philosophy and an awareness within our educators, to create meaningful, holistic experiences that help our children to better engage their curiosity and develop their senses.. A Montessori education places much stock  on  “holistic education” – in other words, the holistic development of the emotional, artistic, creative and academic aspects of a child’s life. This approach nurtures the growth of all the different areas of a child’s mind, in an attractive as well as natural way. We aim to enable children to make the greatest possible use of their academic learning as a tool for social and emotional growth. Our Montessori-led curriculum thus focuses on developing the six essential skills to children’s positive development. This helps our students to be engaged with all facets of learning, emerging as confident, joyful, independent young people, full of curiosity and a love of learning. Here are the six essential skills that the Montessori method helps to nurture, and how that in turn develops growth in a holistic fashion. 1. The child as a spontaneous observer of nature “Only through freedom and environmental experience is it practically possible for human development to occur.” – Dr Maria Montessori Children are instinctively attracted to plants! At House on the Hill we bring children to nature, and bring nature to the children. We aim for a balance of free play and Montessori inspired activities that help children care for and learn about their environment. For example, we set flower pots made of recycled bottles all around our compounds. The children never forget to water the plants with their little watering cans. Very often, we notice that they are silent and peaceful, completely absorbed in contemplation. Spending time in an outdoor environment is vital to the development of the whole child. Not only is it a natural extension of the study of botany in the classroom, but playing and learning outdoors promotes physical, social, emotional, and cognitive development. We use our time in nature to encourage a connection to it. We discuss how to care for it and how to be environmentally responsible. 2. The child as a lover of all living beings “Children have an anxious concern for living beings, and the satisfaction of this instinct fills them with delight.” – Dr Maria Montessori All children have innate concern for living beings, and the satisfaction of this instinct fills them with delight. They are filled with feelings of tenderness and enthusiasm, and the desire to care for these beings. Helping to care for a furry or scaly class pet is a fun and an exciting exercise for children in HotH. We have adopted a number of animals over the years. Aside from being an extension of the learning of zoology, a class pet teaches the children important values such as compassion, empathy, respect, and responsibility for other living things. We nurture leadership and character building through caring for our hamsters, terrapins or even stick insects in the classroom. In the picture below, the child was so struck by the changes undergone by the little hamster that she could describe its development, reporting its growth like a miniature zoologist. It is never too early to learn to care for the needs of other living beings. Whether they are helping to empty the water in a terrapin’s tank, or feeding the stick insects with some mulberry leaves, our children learn to be responsible and develop strong human-animal bonds. These relationships also help to strengthen a child’s social skills, giving them the potential to do better in a school setting. Social & emotional development begins at a very young age — these skills help to guide our emotions and feel empathy, as well as building healthy relationships. It helps children to recognise if someone is sad, and ask if they are okay; helps them with understanding their thoughts and feelings, and develops their ability to relate to others. *Do note that all child-animal interactions are supervised. 3. The child as an explorer of endless discoveries “We especially need imagination in science. It is not all mathematics, nor all logic, but it is somewhat beauty and poetry”. – Dr Maria Montessori Children love to experiment independently. We use activities such as engaging in hands-on science activities to develop curiosity, observation and focus, as well as the cognitive skills of sorting, learning to classify and motor skill development. When children engage freely in science activities, they begin to realize that some experiments will work while others do not.  This is a critical learning process. A child who is constantly testing new objects may be ready to move on to more challenging task. Trial and error is important when learning science.  In the picture, the child is observing diligently, focusing on the experiment that she has just conducted. What worked?  What didn’t work?  How could I do it differently next time? The world is a fascinating place and we want our students to hone and maintain a sense of curiosity, learning step-by-step ways to play, discover, explore – and conquer! 4. The child as an advocate of cultural diversity “Culture and education have no bounds or limits.” – Dr Maria Montessori The Montessori curriculum supports an understanding of the cultural diversity of the world. One of the ways we support this is when we observe festivals of the diverse cultural practices of those who make our community. Instead of beginning with a particular festive celebration, we build on the children’s imaginative powers and begin the lesson with stories that explore the traditions and practices of the individual ethnic group. These stories create a framework of detailed information, and extend into more specific lessons of explorations and research. It is our priority to support cultural diversity, by exposing the children to as many other cultures and practices as possible. Here in this Lunar New Year observance

“Oh no, my child is throwing a tantrum again!” This is what runs through the mind of many parents when their children display behaviours which are difficult to cope with. Understanding Your Toddler’s Growing Awareness The thing is, your little baby is no longer an infant whom you can redirect their misguided behaviours easily. They are now toddlers who are beginning to gain consciousness of their surroundings and possess the capability of holding their thoughts for a longer period. At this stage in their development, young children will begin to seek out the reasons for why things are the way they are and will start to test the limits. Unfortunately for parents,  children at this age haven’t acquired the ability to understand why adults are saying ‘no’ to them yet! Guiding Behaviour with ‘What, When, and Where At House on the Hill, our teachers are trained to intervene and create opportunities to teach our young ones the “What, When, and Where” expectation. These expectations lead the child to understand that we do things at the right place and time. For example, we do not wear a cardigan or jacket just because we like it, but that the outfit is worn when we feel cold and are not able to manipulate the temperature. With consistent guidance in the order of “what, when, and where”, experiencing limits and order develop the toddler’s will. When this is internalised, the toddler will have the capability to control their behaviour. 4 Beautiful Locations Islandwide At House on the Hill, we strive to embody the true Montessori method and philosophy in every lesson and activity. Book A Tour The Montessori Approach: Freedom within Limits ‘Freedom within limits’ is a common term used in Montessori, advocating for defining and setting clear expectations and ground rules. Ground rules stem from three basic ground rules – Respect for oneself, Respect for others, and Respect for the environment. In school, we encourage children to respect the rules of their freedom. To share my personal experience; I’m a parent to a 3-year-old child who constantly tests the limits, such as jumping over his 7-month-old sister. When this happens, I will remind him of the possible dangerous outcomes of jumping over her. At this point, I will recognise his need to jump and at the same time exploring alternative options with him to do so in a safe environment. Lastly, I will also set the consequence with him to say that if he continues to jump over her, I will proceed to separate them by moving him away from his sister or moving his sister to a safer environment. When adults view toddler’s behaviour as challenging, it is always about finding the right balance between the children’s and parent’s needs. By recognizing the children’s needs and redirecting it to meet parents’ needs, we begin to reduce the power struggles between adults and toddlers. Start by recognising his needs by saying, “I see that you want to jump but jumping over your sister is not safe. I need to keep you both safe.” Then suggest alternatives for him or we can even get him to provide the suggestions, “Let’s get a block or mat and you can jump over that instead.” Hence, with appropriate strategies, challenging behaviours can be overcome! Here are a few suggestions for consideration: Prevention Set aside time to have fun together, this helps your child to bond with you. Encourage appropriate specific behaviour (such as recognising positive actions, “I can see that you are sharing your toy”). Identifying triggers at an early stage can head off challenging behaviours. Create consistent routines. It helps when the child knows what’s coming next. Tackling the meltdown (with BREATHE) Be clear with limits set and guide your child’s behaviour by telling them what to do instead of what not to do. Restrain the child physically gently but firmly instead of reacting to physical outbursts from your child. It is good to maintain the boundary set to show that the child is not being punished but that the behaviour will not be tolerated. Easy and clear instructions for the child to follow if they decide to communicate. Allow an alternative to the situation but it is the child’s choice. Together, or if child is not willing, then demonstrate an example for the desired behaviour. This helps to makes them feel less isolated and overwhelmed, showing them that what they were asked to do is not scary or bad. Hug! Positive physical connection is grounding and calming for young children. Be sure to not force the hug. Allowing them to calm down puts the child back in control of their emotion. You will find the hug helps to slow your child’s heart rate and breathing, enabling the child to calm down. End with a recognition of the child’s positive behaviour! Do try these strategies in situations when you encounter your child displaying challenging behaviours that you have difficulty finding the right balance to meet both adult’s and child’s needs. Remember to always give the acknowledgement for children’s needs and providing them the perspective to understand the viewpoint of the adult’s. And of course always let the children know that mummy and daddy love them, to give the children the security and bond that parents are always here for them. .  Remember to BREATHE! Works Cited Montessori Academy. (2017, February 8). Freedom within limits in Montessori Education. Ret Montessori Academy. (8 February, 2017). Freedom within limits in Montessori Education. Retrieved from Montessori Academy:  https://montessoriacademy.com.au/montessori-freedom-within-limits/ Lillard, P., & Jessen, L. (2003). The Developing Will. In P. P. Lillard, & L. L. Jessen, Montessori From The Start (pp. 197-242). New York: Schocken Books. Theresa. (26 February, 2020). Freedom Within Limits. Retrieved from Montessori in Real Life!:  https://www.montessoriinreallife.com/home/2020/2/25/freedom-within-limits Canadian Child Care Federation. (n.d.). Tips for Parenting Children with Challenging Behaviour. Retrieved from The Canadian Child Care Federation: Your ELCC Community:  https://cccf-fcsge.ca/ece-resources/topics/challenging-child-behaviours-stress/tips-parenting-children-challenging-behaviour/ @jothemama, J. K. (18 June, 2021). How to be a gentle parent without letting your children walk all over you [Instagram IGTV]. Retrieved

Separation Anxiety is developmentally normal and a phase that children go through at different ages and stages of their development. Having separation anxiety is part of growing up and is a crucial stage in a child’s development. In fact, it isn’t just children alone who experience this, parents may also face separation anxiety when they first send their child to school. 4 Beautiful Locations Islandwide At House on the Hill, we strive to embody the true Montessori method and philosophy in every lesson and activity. Book A Tour What is Separation Anxiety? Farewells can be tough, whether you are dropping your child off at the childcare or leaving him/her home with someone. At this stage, your toddler understands object permanence, an idea that continues to exist when it cannot be seen or heard, for example, daddy and mummy. However, toddlers are unable to comprehend the concept of time. Leaving your toddler in a bedroom for a few minutes or with a babysitter for a few hours feels like the same amount of time for them. This can be scary as toddlers believe their survival is dependent on having a primary caregiver close by.   What are some Separation Anxiety Symptoms? Separation anxiety is typically most prevalent in toddlers between 8 to 18 months. Symptoms usually begin when a caregiver is departing. Children may cling, throw a tantrum, or resist other caregivers in an attempt to convince the parent not to leave. They may also show signs of fear and restlessness when a parent is in another room, when he is left alone at bedtime, or when being dropped off at day-care. The outbursts usually subside once the caregiver is out of view. This anxiety serves to keep the child close to the caregiver, who is their source of love and safety. How to reassure your child and help with easier transitions? Here are a few tips on how to reassure your child. Preparation for school  1. Be positive and encouraging when speaking about school to your child. 2. Encourage your child to prepare their items ready for school. Example, choosing their schoolbag and putting water bottle in their bag. Examples of child with comfort object in school   3. Bring along a comfort object of your child to the school as security comfort. Examples of objects are soft toys or books. 4. Speak to them about school during the journey to school, the fun things they do and their friends. 5. Remind your child who they will be seeing in school. (Teachers, friends etc.) 6. Remind your child on the exciting things that they will be learning. (Reading, writing, Numeracy, exploring their world etc.) Ready for school / After School 7. Say a proper goodbye to your child at the school drop off area. (Keep reading for tips on how to say goodbye) Getting cuddles and a story from his teacher during a moment of anxiety 8. Ask about their day from their teachers so you can reinforce positive happy memories with them. 9. Remind your child of the happy occasions at school. If your child is finding it difficult to integrate, consider arranging some playdates outside of school. Playdates offer your child a chance to develop relationships with one or two special friends in a play-based environment. How to say goodbye?  Saying goodbye to daddy in the morning and getting his comfort object  1. A hug, a kiss and a reminder that mum/dad will be there to pick them up at the end of the day or session and then walk away! 2. Sometimes a special handshake or special ritual (see you later, alligator) or even a special kiss. 3. If your child is crying, remain positive and calm. Often, a teacher will feedback that the child stopped crying only a minute later. Rest assured separation anxiety is a normal part of development and will disappear over time. Every child is unique and there is no fixed time frame for when separation anxiety appears or disappears. It may even take a few months for a child’s anxiety to dissipate, so be prepared for regression, especially when routines change because of a vacation, illness, or a move.  Just remember, when you trust the teachers and leave your child in the good hands of the teachers in school, your child will be able to feel the same way too!