“Learning to use the toilet is a natural process that begins when your child’s desire to be grown up and his neurological development have reached the point where he can control his bladder and bowels. We don’t train children to use the toilet, we support them when they are ready.” – How to Raise an Amazing Child: The Montessori Way to bring up caring confident children. by Tim Seldin 4 Beautiful Locations Islandwide At House on the Hill, we strive to embody the true Montessori method and philosophy in every lesson and activity. Book A Tour Toilet training is part of the growing up process. It is an important stage in a child’s development. There are many theories and research that associate toilet training with a later stage in a child’s life. Many parents often face a dilemma or pressure in deciding when to start this process. When is a good time? There is no definite time or guide for when this will come. It differs from every child, siblings or even twins. Toilet Training Readiness: How to Spot the Signs in Your Child When it comes to toilet training, it’s essential to prioritise your child’s readiness and comfort. Look for signs such as diapers staying dry for more extended periods, indicating their readiness for the transition. Remember, it should be a natural, gradual process—never force it if your child isn’t ready. Let go of any pressure to meet specific age milestones; every child develops at their own pace. Each child is a unique individual, and respecting their individual journey is the key to successful toilet training. Pre-Toilet Training During diaper changing, take the opportunity to have a conversation with your child about their bodily functions. Normalise the idea that using the toilet is a natural process for everyone to eliminate waste that the body doesn’t need. Some parents may feel comfortable allowing your child to observe and learn from how adults use the toilet. By openly discussing and demonstrating these routines, you’re helping your child understand and become familiar with the concept of using the toilet at their own pace. The key is communication. Encourage your child to use words or show hand signs to indicate his or her needs to use the toilet. Be consistent in the language use for your child to express their needs – like pee, poo, passing urine or passing motion. It is best to share this consistency with other caregivers or teachers looking after your child’s needs. Some children may tell you before they do it and some may tell you after they are done. Observe their facial expressions and look out for the frequency and timing to be more aware of your child’s toileting needs. This will help you to proceed to the next step… Set a routine:Incorporate toileting into your child’s routine based on the frequency and timing you’ve observed. For instance, consider times such as after waking up in the morning, before and after going out, before and after meals or naps, etc. Instead of asking a question like “Do you want to go to the toilet?”, inform the child with a statement like “It’s time to use the toilet.” This approach reduces the chance of rejection and empowers the child to recognize the need to use the toilet. You can also use an alarm clock set at regular intervals to remind them, saying, “The clock says it’s time to use the toilet.” As your child becomes more aware of their toileting needs, they may decline and say, “No, I don’t need to go.” Respect their decision and never force them to use the toilet or potty. If the child is engaged in an activity, such as fixing a puzzle, wait until they have finished before suggesting toileting. Avoid interrupting them during tasks to ensure they feel comfortable and in control of the process. Tips to Facilitate Independence Promoting independence in toileting can significantly boost a child’s confidence and emotional stability, especially during the crucial developmental stage of 1 to 3 years old when they begin to assert autonomy. Here are some strategies to facilitate independence in toileting: Use a stool with a handle and a child-sized toilet seat to allow them to safely climb up and sit on the toilet bowl by themselves. This empowers them to take charge of their toileting routine. Place the potty in the bathroom rather than moving it around the house. This helps reinforce the concept that toileting is to be done in the premises of the toilet. Opt for pull-up diapers instead of those with straps. Teach them how to pull up and down their diapers, gradually transitioning to training pants or underwear as they become more proficient in toileting and dressing themselves. Choose clothing that facilitates self-management, such as elastic-waist trousers, to empower them to dress and undress independently. Consider using training pants to allow the child to feel the wetness sensation, fostering awareness and discomfort when the diaper is wet. This encourages them to strive for dryness and control over longer periods, instilling a sense of accomplishment and self-reliance. By providing the tools and opportunities for independence in toileting, we can support children in developing essential life skills and nurturing their emotional well-being. What If They Wet Themselves? It’s important to accept that accidents are a normal part of the learning process for children. While it’s natural for adults to feel frustrated, especially when cleaning up messes, staying calm and reassuring your child is key. Avoid making them feel ashamed and simply state the facts, such as “I see you are wet. Let’s go get some dry clothes.” Assist your child if needed or if they are feeling overwhelmed. Empower them to decide on their next change of clothes, allowing them to maintain a sense of control over the situation. Let them change at their own pace, respecting their autonomy. Parents should also learn to control their emotions and avoid making a big deal out of the situation. Remaining calm and supportive will help foster a positive attitude towards toileting and encourage your child’s confidence