“Oh no, my child is throwing a tantrum again!” This is what runs through the mind of many parents when their children display behaviours which are difficult to cope with. Understanding Your Toddler’s Growing Awareness The thing is, your little baby is no longer an infant whom you can redirect their misguided behaviours easily. They are now toddlers who are beginning to gain consciousness of their surroundings and possess the capability of holding their thoughts for a longer period. At this stage in their development, young children will begin to seek out the reasons for why things are the way they are and will start to test the limits. Unfortunately for parents,  children at this age haven’t acquired the ability to understand why adults are saying ‘no’ to them yet! Guiding Behaviour with ‘What, When, and Where At House on the Hill, our teachers are trained to intervene and create opportunities to teach our young ones the “What, When, and Where” expectation. These expectations lead the child to understand that we do things at the right place and time. For example, we do not wear a cardigan or jacket just because we like it, but that the outfit is worn when we feel cold and are not able to manipulate the temperature. With consistent guidance in the order of “what, when, and where”, experiencing limits and order develop the toddler’s will. When this is internalised, the toddler will have the capability to control their behaviour. 4 Beautiful Locations Islandwide At House on the Hill, we strive to embody the true Montessori method and philosophy in every lesson and activity. Book A Tour The Montessori Approach: Freedom within Limits ‘Freedom within limits’ is a common term used in Montessori, advocating for defining and setting clear expectations and ground rules. Ground rules stem from three basic ground rules – Respect for oneself, Respect for others, and Respect for the environment. In school, we encourage children to respect the rules of their freedom. To share my personal experience; I’m a parent to a 3-year-old child who constantly tests the limits, such as jumping over his 7-month-old sister. When this happens, I will remind him of the possible dangerous outcomes of jumping over her. At this point, I will recognise his need to jump and at the same time exploring alternative options with him to do so in a safe environment. Lastly, I will also set the consequence with him to say that if he continues to jump over her, I will proceed to separate them by moving him away from his sister or moving his sister to a safer environment. When adults view toddler’s behaviour as challenging, it is always about finding the right balance between the children’s and parent’s needs. By recognizing the children’s needs and redirecting it to meet parents’ needs, we begin to reduce the power struggles between adults and toddlers. Start by recognising his needs by saying, “I see that you want to jump but jumping over your sister is not safe. I need to keep you both safe.” Then suggest alternatives for him or we can even get him to provide the suggestions, “Let’s get a block or mat and you can jump over that instead.” Hence, with appropriate strategies, challenging behaviours can be overcome! Here are a few suggestions for consideration: Prevention Set aside time to have fun together, this helps your child to bond with you. Encourage appropriate specific behaviour (such as recognising positive actions, “I can see that you are sharing your toy”). Identifying triggers at an early stage can head off challenging behaviours. Create consistent routines. It helps when the child knows what’s coming next. Tackling the meltdown (with BREATHE) Be clear with limits set and guide your child’s behaviour by telling them what to do instead of what not to do. Restrain the child physically gently but firmly instead of reacting to physical outbursts from your child. It is good to maintain the boundary set to show that the child is not being punished but that the behaviour will not be tolerated. Easy and clear instructions for the child to follow if they decide to communicate. Allow an alternative to the situation but it is the child’s choice. Together, or if child is not willing, then demonstrate an example for the desired behaviour. This helps to makes them feel less isolated and overwhelmed, showing them that what they were asked to do is not scary or bad. Hug! Positive physical connection is grounding and calming for young children. Be sure to not force the hug. Allowing them to calm down puts the child back in control of their emotion. You will find the hug helps to slow your child’s heart rate and breathing, enabling the child to calm down. End with a recognition of the child’s positive behaviour! Do try these strategies in situations when you encounter your child displaying challenging behaviours that you have difficulty finding the right balance to meet both adult’s and child’s needs. Remember to always give the acknowledgement for children’s needs and providing them the perspective to understand the viewpoint of the adult’s. And of course always let the children know that mummy and daddy love them, to give the children the security and bond that parents are always here for them. .  Remember to BREATHE! Works Cited Montessori Academy. (2017, February 8). Freedom within limits in Montessori Education. Ret Montessori Academy. (8 February, 2017). Freedom within limits in Montessori Education. Retrieved from Montessori Academy:  https://montessoriacademy.com.au/montessori-freedom-within-limits/ Lillard, P., & Jessen, L. (2003). The Developing Will. In P. P. Lillard, & L. L. Jessen, Montessori From The Start (pp. 197-242). New York: Schocken Books. Theresa. (26 February, 2020). Freedom Within Limits. Retrieved from Montessori in Real Life!:  https://www.montessoriinreallife.com/home/2020/2/25/freedom-within-limits Canadian Child Care Federation. (n.d.). Tips for Parenting Children with Challenging Behaviour. Retrieved from The Canadian Child Care Federation: Your ELCC Community:  https://cccf-fcsge.ca/ece-resources/topics/challenging-child-behaviours-stress/tips-parenting-children-challenging-behaviour/ @jothemama, J. K. (18 June, 2021). How to be a gentle parent without letting your children walk all over you [Instagram IGTV]. Retrieved

Separation Anxiety is developmentally normal and a phase that children go through at different ages and stages of their development. Having separation anxiety is part of growing up and is a crucial stage in a child’s development. In fact, it isn’t just children alone who experience this, parents may also face separation anxiety when they first send their child to school. 4 Beautiful Locations Islandwide At House on the Hill, we strive to embody the true Montessori method and philosophy in every lesson and activity. Book A Tour What is Separation Anxiety? Farewells can be tough, whether you are dropping your child off at the childcare or leaving him/her home with someone. At this stage, your toddler understands object permanence, an idea that continues to exist when it cannot be seen or heard, for example, daddy and mummy. However, toddlers are unable to comprehend the concept of time. Leaving your toddler in a bedroom for a few minutes or with a babysitter for a few hours feels like the same amount of time for them. This can be scary as toddlers believe their survival is dependent on having a primary caregiver close by.   What are some Separation Anxiety Symptoms? Separation anxiety is typically most prevalent in toddlers between 8 to 18 months. Symptoms usually begin when a caregiver is departing. Children may cling, throw a tantrum, or resist other caregivers in an attempt to convince the parent not to leave. They may also show signs of fear and restlessness when a parent is in another room, when he is left alone at bedtime, or when being dropped off at day-care. The outbursts usually subside once the caregiver is out of view. This anxiety serves to keep the child close to the caregiver, who is their source of love and safety. How to reassure your child and help with easier transitions? Here are a few tips on how to reassure your child. Preparation for school  1. Be positive and encouraging when speaking about school to your child. 2. Encourage your child to prepare their items ready for school. Example, choosing their schoolbag and putting water bottle in their bag. Examples of child with comfort object in school   3. Bring along a comfort object of your child to the school as security comfort. Examples of objects are soft toys or books. 4. Speak to them about school during the journey to school, the fun things they do and their friends. 5. Remind your child who they will be seeing in school. (Teachers, friends etc.) 6. Remind your child on the exciting things that they will be learning. (Reading, writing, Numeracy, exploring their world etc.) Ready for school / After School 7. Say a proper goodbye to your child at the school drop off area. (Keep reading for tips on how to say goodbye) Getting cuddles and a story from his teacher during a moment of anxiety 8. Ask about their day from their teachers so you can reinforce positive happy memories with them. 9. Remind your child of the happy occasions at school. If your child is finding it difficult to integrate, consider arranging some playdates outside of school. Playdates offer your child a chance to develop relationships with one or two special friends in a play-based environment. How to say goodbye?  Saying goodbye to daddy in the morning and getting his comfort object  1. A hug, a kiss and a reminder that mum/dad will be there to pick them up at the end of the day or session and then walk away! 2. Sometimes a special handshake or special ritual (see you later, alligator) or even a special kiss. 3. If your child is crying, remain positive and calm. Often, a teacher will feedback that the child stopped crying only a minute later. Rest assured separation anxiety is a normal part of development and will disappear over time. Every child is unique and there is no fixed time frame for when separation anxiety appears or disappears. It may even take a few months for a child’s anxiety to dissipate, so be prepared for regression, especially when routines change because of a vacation, illness, or a move.  Just remember, when you trust the teachers and leave your child in the good hands of the teachers in school, your child will be able to feel the same way too!  

“Learning to use the toilet is a natural process that begins when your child’s desire to be grown up and his neurological development have reached the point where he can control his bladder and bowels. We don’t train children to use the toilet, we support them when they are ready.” – How to Raise an Amazing Child: The Montessori Way to bring up caring confident children. by Tim Seldin 4 Beautiful Locations Islandwide At House on the Hill, we strive to embody the true Montessori method and philosophy in every lesson and activity. Book A Tour Toilet training is part of the growing up process. It is an important stage in a child’s development. There are many theories and research that associate toilet training with a later stage in a child’s life. Many parents often face a dilemma or pressure in deciding when to start this process. When is a good time? There is no definite time or guide for when this will come. It differs from every child, siblings or even twins. Toilet Training Readiness: How to Spot the Signs in Your Child When it comes to toilet training, it’s essential to prioritise your child’s readiness and comfort. Look for signs such as diapers staying dry for more extended periods, indicating their readiness for the transition. Remember, it should be a natural, gradual process—never force it if your child isn’t ready. Let go of any pressure to meet specific age milestones; every child develops at their own pace. Each child is a unique individual, and respecting their individual journey is the key to successful toilet training. Pre-Toilet Training During diaper changing, take the opportunity to have a conversation with your child about their bodily functions. Normalise the idea that using the toilet is a natural process for everyone to eliminate waste that the body doesn’t need. Some parents may feel comfortable allowing your child to observe and learn from how adults use the toilet. By openly discussing and demonstrating these routines, you’re helping your child understand and become familiar with the concept of using the toilet at their own pace. The key is communication. Encourage your child to use words or show hand signs to indicate his or her needs to use the toilet. Be consistent in the language use for your child to express their needs – like pee, poo, passing urine or passing motion. It is best to share this consistency with other caregivers or teachers looking after your child’s needs. Some children may tell you before they do it and some may tell you after they are done. Observe their facial expressions and look out for the frequency and timing to be more aware of your child’s toileting needs. This will help you to proceed to the next step… Set a routine:Incorporate toileting into your child’s routine based on the frequency and timing you’ve observed. For instance, consider times such as after waking up in the morning, before and after going out, before and after meals or naps, etc. Instead of asking a question like “Do you want to go to the toilet?”, inform the child with a statement like “It’s time to use the toilet.” This approach reduces the chance of rejection and empowers the child to recognize the need to use the toilet. You can also use an alarm clock set at regular intervals to remind them, saying, “The clock says it’s time to use the toilet.” As your child becomes more aware of their toileting needs, they may decline and say, “No, I don’t need to go.” Respect their decision and never force them to use the toilet or potty. If the child is engaged in an activity, such as fixing a puzzle, wait until they have finished before suggesting toileting. Avoid interrupting them during tasks to ensure they feel comfortable and in control of the process. Tips to Facilitate Independence Promoting independence in toileting can significantly boost a child’s confidence and emotional stability, especially during the crucial developmental stage of 1 to 3 years old when they begin to assert autonomy. Here are some strategies to facilitate independence in toileting: Use a stool with a handle and a child-sized toilet seat to allow them to safely climb up and sit on the toilet bowl by themselves. This empowers them to take charge of their toileting routine. Place the potty in the bathroom rather than moving it around the house. This helps reinforce the concept that toileting is to be done in the premises of the toilet. Opt for pull-up diapers instead of those with straps. Teach them how to pull up and down their diapers, gradually transitioning to training pants or underwear as they become more proficient in toileting and dressing themselves. Choose clothing that facilitates self-management, such as elastic-waist trousers, to empower them to dress and undress independently. Consider using training pants to allow the child to feel the wetness sensation, fostering awareness and discomfort when the diaper is wet. This encourages them to strive for dryness and control over longer periods, instilling a sense of accomplishment and self-reliance. By providing the tools and opportunities for independence in toileting, we can support children in developing essential life skills and nurturing their emotional well-being. What If They Wet Themselves? It’s important to accept that accidents are a normal part of the learning process for children. While it’s natural for adults to feel frustrated, especially when cleaning up messes, staying calm and reassuring your child is key. Avoid making them feel ashamed and simply state the facts, such as “I see you are wet. Let’s go get some dry clothes.” Assist your child if needed or if they are feeling overwhelmed. Empower them to decide on their next change of clothes, allowing them to maintain a sense of control over the situation. Let them change at their own pace, respecting their autonomy. Parents should also learn to control their emotions and avoid making a big deal out of the situation. Remaining calm and supportive will help foster a positive attitude towards toileting and encourage your child’s confidence